Care and hospital
Moving into a care home: sharing their life story with staff
In short
Before a care home move, give staff the essentials in writing: a one-page profile (name they like, routines, food, comforts, worries) and a short life story book with photos. Set up their room with familiar things, meet the key worker or activity coordinator, and keep adding to the story as staff get to know them.
Why share a life story when someone moves into care?
Because for the first few weeks, staff are meeting a stranger, and your relative is surrounded by strangers. The more staff know about who they are, the sooner they can talk about the right things, offer the right comforts and avoid the things that upset them.
Alzheimer's Society's booklet on supporting a person with dementia in a care home includes a whole section on helping staff to know the person, alongside practical advice on settling in. NICE's dementia guideline recommends that care staff are trained to understand the person as an individual and their life story. Families hold that knowledge, and the move is the moment to hand it over.
It's also normal for the move to feel hard, for everyone. Age UK notes that it's natural for it to take some time to adjust to a new environment, and Alzheimer's Society's booklet says there may be good and bad days to start with.
What should you share before the move?
Ask the home what they already use. Many have their own life history form, and some ask for Alzheimer's Society's free "This is me" leaflet. Fill that in, then add what it doesn't cover. The most useful things to share are:
| What | Why it helps staff |
|---|---|
| The name they like to be called | Using the right name is the first step to feeling at home |
| Daily routines | When they like to get up, eat, nap and go to bed |
| Food and drink | How they take their tea, favourite foods, what they won't eat |
| What helps when they're upset | A song, a photo, a phrase, a walk, a hand to hold |
| What to avoid | Noise, being rushed, particular topics or words |
| Important people | Who visits, who has died, who they might ask for |
| Their working life and interests | Natural topics of conversation and ideas for activities |
The first five fit on a one-page profile; our guide to "About me" profiles shows how to write one. The last two are what a life story book is for.
What should you bring on moving day?
Alzheimer's Society suggests asking the manager whether you can set up the room in advance with familiar items, so it feels like theirs on arrival, and placing familiar objects such as photos and ornaments where the person can easily see them. The NHS suggests checking, when choosing a home, whether residents can have their own room with space for their own furniture and possessions.
- A few framed photos of the people they see now, labelled with names.
- A familiar blanket, cushion or chair if there's room.
- Their life story book and "About me" profile, with a spare copy for the care file.
- Things for favourite pastimes: a radio set to their station, a jigsaw, wool and needles, a football scarf.
- Glasses, hearing aids and anything else they need every day. In an emergency move, the essentials come first.
Alzheimer's Society also suggests involving the person in unpacking and choosing where things go, and avoiding doing too much at once.
Who should you talk to at the home?
Try to meet three people in the first week:
- The key worker or named carer, who will see them most. Walk through the profile together.
- The activity coordinator, if the home has one (the NHS suggests asking whether it does when you're choosing). Show them the life story book: it's full of ideas for conversation and activities.
- The manager or senior carer, to agree how and when you'll share updates, and to pass on anything sensitive that shouldn't be in a book left on a bedside table.
Ask how they'd like to receive information, and whether you can help with care or join in activities. The NHS suggests asking whether relatives can keep helping, for example by joining an activity.
How can staff use a life story book?
- As an introduction. A new carer can learn in five minutes that the quiet man in room 4 was a bus driver who loves brass bands.
- As a conversation starter. Looking through a familiar page together gives a gentle, unhurried thing to share.
- For activities. Favourite music, hobbies and places suggest activities that fit the person.
- For moments of worry. A photo of family, or a page about a place they love, can be a comfort to turn to.
Make sure the book is durable enough to be used, not kept in a drawer to protect it. Laminated, wipe-clean pages make that much easier; our guide to dementia-friendly book design explains why.
How do you keep the story going after the move?
- Add a page about their life at the home: their room, a friend they've made, a favourite member of staff.
- Ask staff what they've noticed. They may discover things the family never knew.
- Update the profile when routines or preferences change, and date it.
- Bring new photos when there are family events, and label them.
Visits can feel strange at first. A book to look through together gives you both something to do and talk about, and invites other residents and staff to join in.
What if there's no time to prepare?
Moves often happen at short notice, after a hospital stay. Don't worry about doing everything at once. Write down the five most important things on a single sheet (name, tea, routine, comforts, things to avoid) and hand it to the senior carer on day one. Then build the fuller story over the following weeks; relatives can help with photos and memories from wherever they live. Our guide to collecting photos and memories from the family covers how.
Key takeaways
- Give staff the essentials in writing on day one: name, routines, food, comforts and things to avoid.
- Fill in the home's own form or "This is me" first, then add a life story book and profile.
- Set up the room with familiar things, and place photos where they can easily be seen.
- Meet the key worker and activity coordinator, and walk through the book together.
- Keep the story going: add new pages and update the profile as things change.
Common questions
Do care homes ask for a life history?
Many do, often through their own form or Alzheimer's Society's free "This is me" leaflet. Ask at your first visit what they use and when they would like it, ideally before moving day.
What should I write if my relative cannot tell me about their past?
Ask brothers and sisters, old friends and former colleagues, and use photos as prompts. Write what you know in their voice, and include only what they would be comfortable with staff knowing.
Should the life story book stay in their room?
Usually yes, somewhere visible and easy to reach, so staff and visitors use it. Keep a spare copy, or have an extra one printed, in case it goes missing or travels with them to hospital.
Sources
- Alzheimer's Society: Supporting a person with dementia in a care home (booklet 691, PDF)
- NHS: Dementia and care homes
- Age UK: Care homes
- Alzheimer's Society: This is me
- NICE: Dementia: assessment, management and support (NG97)
We link to these organisations for information; they haven't reviewed or endorsed this guide or Still Me. Read our editorial standards.