How to make a memory box for someone with dementia

What is a memory box?

A memory box is a container of real things from a person's life that you can pick up, pass around and talk about. It sits alongside photos and words rather than replacing them. Dementia UK describes memory boxes as containing meaningful items, and notes that they are particularly useful for people with sensory impairments, or in the later stages of dementia when someone may rely more on touch or smell to communicate.

Alzheimer's Society describes reminiscence work as talking about a period, event or subject from the past, often using prompts such as music, objects and photos. A memory box is simply a ready-made collection of those prompts, kept in one place so anyone can use it: you, a grandchild, a care worker or a visiting friend. Dementia UK's gift ideas include memory boxes with simple items that link to pleasant memories, and suggest changing the contents occasionally to keep it interesting.

What should you put in a memory box?

The best items are specific to the person, not generic "nostalgia". Their own tea caddy says more than a reproduction 1960s advert. Aim for things that can be handled safely and that start a story.

Eight to twelve items is plenty. A box that is too full becomes hard to use, and some people find a lot of choice tiring. You can always swap things in and out, or make a second box on another theme.

How do you make one, step by step?

1. Talk to them first if you can. Ask what they would like to keep in it, and let them choose. It is their box.
2. Pick a theme or two. Work, a favourite place, a hobby or "our family" give the box a focus. Our life story questions are a good way to find themes.
3. Ask the family. Brothers, sisters and old friends often have objects you don't. One message asking for "one thing that reminds you of Mum" can work well; our guide to collecting photos and memories from the family has a message you can copy.
4. Choose a sturdy box that is easy to open, with a lid that lifts off rather than a fiddly catch. A shoebox covered in a favourite fabric, a biscuit tin or a wooden box all work.
5. Label each item with a short note in their voice: "My first wage packet from Rowntree's, 1961." This helps visitors and care staff start a conversation without guessing.
6. Add a contents card inside the lid listing what's in the box, so nothing important gets lost and things can be put back.
7. Put their name on the box, especially if it will go into a care home or hospital.

How do you keep a memory box safe?

Think about who will be handling it and where it will live. Dementia UK's gift advice suggests avoiding small items that could be swallowed and anything fragile, and that applies here too.

• Avoid small loose items such as coins, beads and buttons if there is any risk they could be put in the mouth. Put them in a sealed clear pot instead, or leave them out.
• Leave out anything sharp, heavy, breakable or valuable. Use a copy of a precious photo, not the only print.
• Choose scents carefully. Dementia UK suggests a homemade "reminiscents" box of scents that mean something to the person, but also advises against gifts with strong smells, so a gentle, familiar scent is enough.
• Think about hygiene in a care home: items that can be wiped clean, or fabrics that can be washed, are easier for staff.
• Check with the care home what they are happy to keep in a room or a lounge.

How do you use a memory box together?

A memory box works best as something you share, not a test. Sit side by side, take one item out at a time and see where the conversation goes.

• Lead with the object, not a question. Hand them the item and say what it is, or what you remember: "This is your badge from the bus depot. You looked so smart in that uniform." Alzheimer's Society advises against trying to jog someone's memory; talking about what you remember yourself takes the pressure off.
• Follow their lead. If they want to talk about something else entirely, go with it. If they are tired, put the box away for another day.
• Accept the story they tell, even if the details are different from how you remember them.
• Be ready for feelings. Alzheimer's Society notes that reminiscence can sometimes bring back sad or difficult memories. If that happens, stay with them, acknowledge how they feel, and move on gently if they want to.
• Involve others. Grandchildren often enjoy asking about the objects, and a box gives visitors something to do as well as something to say.

For more ideas on what to say, see our guide to conversation starters for someone with dementia, and for activities that build on a box, our guide to reminiscence activities.

Is a memory box useful in the later stages?

Often, yes. When reading becomes harder, touch, smell and sound can still connect. The NHS notes that in the later stages, playing music, having objects to touch and interact with, and hand massage can all help people. A soft scarf, a familiar hand cream or a smooth pebble may mean more than a box of papers. Keep the items simple and comforting rather than detailed.

Memory box or life story book: which is better?

They do different jobs, and many families have both.

A good combination is a small box of objects that live in their room, and a life story book that tells the story behind them. If you'd like the book made for you, Still Me lets the whole family add photos and memories through one link and posts a printed, wipe-clean book with a one-page "About me" sheet for carers.